Corvallis Preserves


October 11, 2007


Corvallis residents may have recently noticed the construction activity on the west side of Timber Hill.  While it may seem like the city is paving the way for more unnecessary pre-fabricated houses for Californians, the project is actually a critical part of the new Corvallis Urban Resource Sustainability Enterprise.

City leaders have noted that residents place a high value on the natural resources of Corvallis.  With such values in mind, portions of Timber Hill are being carefully preserved for future generations.

The first step uses eco-explosives on qualified hillsides throughout the city.  The dynamite procedure allows the city to transform large, inconvenient ridges and boulders into small bits of rock that fit into quart-sized Mason jars.  These jars provide maximum geological preservation for future generations.

Roger Matrix, the Chief Sustainability Engineer for the project offered his assessment of the city's innovative approach to resource conservation.  "We know what nature can do, and we think we can do better."

Matrix explained, "In its present situation, the hillside rock might be exposed to erosion and weathering.  But our patented Mason jar technology enables better use of the rock for our posterities."

The second phase of the Sustainability Enterprise will distribute the preserved rock to citizens throughout the eco-community.  The Mason jars feature an attractive green lid, and the glass is tastefully engraved with "Corvallis Sustainability" on the side.

An added bonus of the project is the creation of more 10-15 percent, dead-end cul-de-sacs in the city.  Authoritative studies show that steeply graded sidewalks serve as an excellent incentive for people to walk more and drive less – especially among an aging population like the one in Corvallis.

City leaders are also considering innovative ways to preserve vegetation and animals.  Monsanto recently offered a Biotechnology Engineering Advisor for Sustainable Transformation to aid the city in its quest for resource preservation.  Preliminary eco-projects include archival storage of feathers, bark and fur with techniques that use special gases.

Such innovation offers a final solution to city hillsides.  "It's a great day to be living in Corvallis!" said Milo Tusk, President of the Corvallis Chamber Society.




Yes, I want to read more from Knappster.

No, get me outta here!  This is all giving me a headache.